Weekly Drabbles 1
by The Amazing Lava Lamp
Summary: Series of drabbles with mild hints of shounen-ai. One drabble for each day of the week. Warning: total randomness and OOCness.
1. Hit and Run

This is a series of drabbles that were bouncing in my mind when I was trying to sleep last night. The victim? Naruto, which I do not own. The plot? There is none. The point? So I can sleep better. The questions? What questions?

Enjoy your ramen~!

Hit and Run

Naruto ate his fifth bowl of ramen. Sakura watched him in disgust. Sasuke was staring at the bottom of his bowl. Kakashi was reading his porn.

"Don't you think that's too much?" Sakura asked Naruto. "You've eaten your fifth bowl!"

"Chouji can eat ten." Naruto managed to get out. "We're trying to see who can eat the most."

Sakura looked sick. "All that ramen in one sitting?"

"Yup!" Naruto didn't say anymore after that, too occupied with his food.

A little while later, Sakura turned to Sasuke and tried to flirt with him, but her efforts were nil. Kakashi was still absorbed with his porn. Then Tenten, Neji, and Rock Lee walked into the ramen restaurant with a hassled looking Gai, who was frowning over a paper.

Gai sat down next to Kakashi. Kakashi ignored him and didn't bother to look up when Gai asked Kakashi a question.

Naruto stopped eating. He looked up, interested. "What was that?" He asked Gai.

"Huh? Oh," Gai read off the paper. "If you could express your feelings in one way, how would you express it?"

Naruto tilted his head and closed his eyes, as if contemplating the question. Then he turned around and punched Sasuke in the face.

"…" There was a second of split silence. Naruto looked right pleased with himself, Sakura was shocked, Neji didn't care (he actually smirked!), Tenten bit her lip, Rock Lee's eyes popped, Gai was …impressed, and Kakashi rolled his eyes and said, "Oh boy."

Sasuke looked like a dog that just got run over. One second later, Naruto was gibbering underneath a face that looked like the Devil itself.

"Uh…s-s-s-sorry?" Naruto offered a weak apology.

Sasuke grimly cracked his knuckles.

"Gai!" Naruto shouted suddenly before Sasuke threw a punch at him. "What was the question again?"

Gai gave a start and read the paper again, "If you could express your feelings in one way, how would you express it?"

Naruto swung around and yelled, "I would run!!!" He dashed out of the restaurant, but not before quickly punching Sasuke again.

Infuriated in getting punched _twice_ by a total idiot, Sasuke chased after Naruto.

Inside the ramen shop, silence settled like thick soup, only to be broken by Kakashi turning a page and remarking, "That was some hit and run."

---

End…yeah, really random stuff I got here.


	2. Dine and Dash

I was hungry one night and thought of Chouji. Then I wondered how fast he could run if he was to escape from an angry Asuma. Few hours later, I was up and writing as fast as I could in my notebook. What I got was a very watered down version of what I had before.

Disclaimer: Blah. Naruto is awesome and I'm amazing. So that's why Naruto is not mine.

Dine and Dash

It was another boring afternoon. Shikamaru was sleeping, Ino was daydreaming, Asuma was staring off into space (suspiciously in the direction of Kurenai's house), and Chouji was munching.

"Asuma-sensei, can we eat lunch now?" Chouji asked, out of the blue.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, but I'm not treating you guys to another meal. You," Asuma pointed at Chouji, "are eating me out of my house."

Chouji grinned.

The trio of laziness sauntered over the local barbeque restaurant with a sighing Asuma in the back.

The waitresses greeted them with friendly smiles and the cook personally came out to recommend some new kinds of spices to put on their barbeque.

They settled down and ordered their food. Chouji kept calling for more.

"Um, Chouji, you know that I'm not going to be paying for you, right?" Asuma coughed, seeing that Chouji was eating his tenth barbeque plate.

"Yeah, I know." Chouji said placidly, delicately picking up another prime rib with his chopstick.

"That's good." Asuma leaned back, relieved.

Chouji finally sighed in content after his thirteenth plate. "I'm full." He said.

"That's good." Asuma smiled. "Now we can finally leave."

Chouji got up. He stretched and then peered down at Asuma. "You do know that I don't have money, do you sensei?"

"You don't have money?" Asuma repeated, brow furrowing.

"Nope." Chouji shook his head.

Asuma turned red. "Then why did you order all that food?!"

"I was hungry." Chouji simply replied.

Asuma looked like he was going to explode. "So…are you saying that…?"

"Yup, sensei." Chouji grinned. "I have to go, my mom's expecting me for lunch!" He dashed off before Asuma could do anything else.

Ino stared at the dust trail Chouji left. Shikamaru yawned and walked out of the restaurant.

"You know, sensei," Ino remarked. "Chouji's pretty fast for someone so fat."

"…Yeah, I know." Asuma said through gritted teeth. He turned around. The cook, two waitresses, and the cashier lady looked at him expectantly.

Asuma nearly cried.

---

End…


	3. Black and Blue and Red and Emos

Inspired by my latest depression, this blossomed into black and blue and red colors. Then I thought of food and forgot most of it, but here it is, alive and inky.

Once again, I have to say that no, Naruto is not mine, and yes, this fanfic is mine.

Black and Blue and Red and Emos

Naruto and Sasuke sat on the curb, both sitting far apart from the other and facing a different direction. It was quiet, a rare moment of silence that was about to be broken by Naruto.

"Hey! There's Gaara!" Naruto shouted, standing up in his surprise. Sasuke's head whipped around. His eyes narrowed.

Gaara, who was far off in the distance, heard someone call his name. He turned around and saw a yellow and orange blob and a blue and black blob at a curb.

His eyes narrowed to slits, and Gaara left his siblings to join Naruto and Sasuke at the curb.

"What's up, Gaara?" Naruto asked excitedly. "What are you doing here?"

"The sky is up, and I'm here for a mission." Gaara replied, trying to add humor for Naruto's sake.

Naruto grinned. "That's great! Are you free to hang out with us?"

Behind Naruto, Sasuke's eyes widened and frantically began to shake his head in 'no'.

Gaara smirked at Sasuke and replied calmly, "Yes, I'd _love_ to."

Sasuke let out a long and agitated breath, disappointed.

The three of them sat on the curb before Naruto got up, suddenly remembering that he was supposed to tell Iruka that he couldn't eat ramen with him today. "I'll be back!" He told his two silent friends who nodded back in unison.

The two of them watched Naruto run off, silent. Then they began to stare at anything but each other.

Two minutes later, Sasuke coughed softly and said, a bit smugly, "I hate my brother."

Gaara glared at Sasuke, sensing the challenge. "I hate life."

"I'm going to kill my brother."

"I'm going to kill all of humanity."

"I hate this place."

"I hate the whole entire world."

"I hate all people!"

"I hate them even more! Well, except for Naruto…"

"I hate Naruto!"

"I hate you!"

"I hate you too!" Sasuke shouted back.

Gaara stared at Sasuke. "Well, I'm glad we got that straight."

Then the shouting match began again.

Sasuke declared in a throbbing voice, "I cut my wrists!"

"I shave my legs!"

"I do too!" Sasuke retorted.

"I feel more pain!" Gaara defended.

"M-My heart bleeds blue blood!" Sasuke shouted angrily.

"My heart bleeds purple blood!" Gaara threw back.

"My heart is bleeding black and blue!" Sasuke stomped his foot, standing up.

Gaara stood up too. He crossed his arms and said smugly, "My heart is bleeding red."

Sasuke glared icily at Gaara. He opened his mouth to add on, but then Naruto interrupted him. "I say that both of you are _equally_ angsty and _equally_ emo. There! Now stop arguing!" Naruto stood in front of them, arms crossed and looking right proud of himself.

"WE ARE NOT EMO!" The two emos shouted and tackled Naruto.

Naruto yelped out, "Says the ones that _are_ emo!" And was buried again, underneath two angsty emos.

---

End. Please note that I love all Naruto characters very much and do not think any of them are emo…* pause* …but some of them are depressing. And…total OOCness, but it's lovable, right? Right? RIGHT?


	4. Sand Castles

OOCness is food for the good. Right…? Right! Yeah? Yeah! Sure? Sure! Whatever? Whatever! And nuuuuuuuu….Naruto is NOHT MEIN. (Take out the H and the I and you get HI!)

Enjoy~~~!!!!

Sand Castles

Gaara was walking through the woods one day. He wanted to escape from the nosy humans that inhabited the Sand village, so he ran off to the closest woods he could find.

He walked joyfully around, scaring several birds and wild animals before he came across a white haired man. The man was bent over a pool of water. Gaara stared at him, wondering whether to scare him away or to leave. Gaara chose to leave.

He was just about to until the man withdrew from the water and said, "What's up?"

Gaara was quiet. He stared at the man unblinkingly. The man laughed a bit nervously and said, "I'm Suigetsu. Who're you?"

"Gaara." Gaara said quietly. He was suspicious of this man with sharp teeth.

"Oh! The Kazekage?" Suigetsu asked, leaning against a tree.

"…" Gaara didn't say anything. It was obvious that the Kazekage was him; the outfit just shouted, "I'M THE KAZEKAGE!"

"That's cool." Suigetsu grinned, flashing those choppers at Gaara's way. "I was just getting bored of being alone. Want to hang out?"

"…No." Gaara said placidly. He turned to leave.

"Wait!" Suigetsu called after Gaara. "I'll show you something cool if you stay!"

Gaara stopped. This was a dilemma. It was between leaving a scary-looking dude that had sharp teeth and seeing something cool. He turned back around and said, "Sure."

"Come over here." Suigetsu beckoned to Gaara. "Now look!" He took out a kunai and chopped off his hand.

Gaara stared. What fool would chop off their own hand and think it's cool? But then the hand that was chopped off turned into water and Suigetsu's stump of an arm became transparent, like water, and formed another hand that looked like water. Slowly, the hand solidified and became…a hand!

"Wow." Gaara was impressed. It reminded him a bit like his sand. Gaara could make shapes with his sand and reform them.

"Cool, isn't it?" Suigetsu exclaimed, and then bent down to drink some water. "I do get thirsty whenever that happens though. Would you like some? Oh hey-whoops!"

Suigetsu had accidentally spat water on Gaara's face.

Gaara was ticked off. He wiped his face with a sleeve and glared at Suigetsu.

Suigetsu smiled nervously and said weakly, "Sorry…?"

Sand began to form around Suigetsu. Gaara was ready to pummel the shit outta the dude.

The sand wrapped around Suigetsu, ready to choke him.

"Wait! You can't do that! Sand and water-" Suigetsu didn't get the chance to finish. Gaara watched in disappointment when the sand crumbled and fell down.

"See? I tried to tell you!" Suigetsu crossed his arms. "You just-" He stopped when he saw Gaara bending over and scooping up the sand.

"Wanna make sand castles?" Suigetsu offered, bending down as well. "I have a shovel."

"…" Gaara stared at Suigetsu for a moment. Then he shrugged. "Sure."

And so, Gaara and Suigetsu spent a happy afternoon making sand castles before Suigetsu had to leave.

Gaara left as well, wondering if he could get his brother and sister to make sand castles with him.

As Suigetsu rejoined his group that was intent on finding Uchiha Itachi and kill him, Karin scowled and demanded, "Where the hell were you?! We spent the entire afternoon looking for you!"

Suigetsu grinned. "I was building sandcastles with the Kazekage!"

Sasuke, who was carving the words 'DIE ITACHI' into a tree, looked at him in disbelief. "Gaara wouldn't build sandcastles with a total stranger."

Suigetsu shrugged and took a swig of water. "He just did."

"Whatever dude." Karin rolled her eyes.

As she turned around, Suigetsu stuck his tongue out at her and wondered if he'd meet the cute Kazekage again.

---

End. I don't think Gaara and Suigetsu would ever be a pairing…but it's a good try…


End file.
